Nell finds a lot of comfort in the time she gets to spend with Margaret, though that time is limited by her friend’s work schedule. They spend their weekends together hiking through the nearby mountains and talking.
“What were you doing last night? I heard the TV on late last night.”
“Dunno, just couldn’t sleep. Ended up watching through most of season two of that show you were talking about though.”
“Yeah? Is it any good?”
“It’s alright. It’s good if you just want to turn your turn your brain off for awhile.”
“Which you needed?”
“Like I said, couldn’t sleep.”
This is a healing time for Nell as she starts to unpack what she’s been through, but it’s hard for her to express exactly what keeps her mind awake, what keeps her from letting herself sleep.
“You know you can stay for as long as you need to. You don’t need to worry about that. I’m not going to throw you out on the street or something”
“I know, it’s not that.”
“He’s not going find you here. We’re states away from where he last saw you, he barely knows I exist, there’s no way he’d randomly pick this little town off the map.”
“That’s not it either, but thanks for reminding me. Literally anyone could post some picture or something. You never know.”
“Sorry. All of our friends knows though, they wouldn’t do that.”
“Your friends might not, sure, but there are other people living here and random people drive through all the time. Anyway, last night was more about my mom.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.”
“It’s just weird. I know she’s been dead for ages, but I guess it’s just setting in. You know I’ve never been to her grave?”
Margaret couldn’t say anything. What do you even say to that?
“Anyway, I can’t go now. Trevor knows where she was buried. Though I wonder if he’s ever been to her grave either. He was with me after the funeral, I skipped the actual burial.”
“I know.” Margaret spoke quietly.
“Oh. Yeah. I forget you were there sometimes.”
The few days between her mother’s death and the funeral had been a blur followed by a whirlwind. Her life had gone very quickly from interrupted to overturned and she hadn’t bothered to keep in touch with any of her friends or connections back home after she moved to Winona Kansas with Trevor. He said she needed a new place to start over, to put some distance between herself and her grief. What he really meant was he needed her to forget the people who cared about her, forget the place where she had a home, had been welcome for the last twenty three years. HE needed her to feel alone.